“Twelve Princesses”: twelve dancing princesses fairytale retelling, fantasy // StayHomeWriMo Day 19

Hey, everyone!

Sorry I didn’t post magical realism today, Beck 😦 but I’ll get it in some time this week! Today was my dad’s birthday and it was jam-packed for other reasons too, so I didn’t have much time to write.


The gardens were beautiful, the plants and leaves a deep forest green, and the bright-colored berries hanging ripe off of the plants. Noises of distant chattering from the palace and distinct chattering from behind her hit Elisa as she scooped up a wailing five-year-old Evie in her arms, whispering soothing remarks to calm her.

“No, stop it!” Elisa heard her little sister Stella say out loud. “Luna! It’s mine!” She complained. Luna was her twin, and they were both only ten years old.

“Girls, no fighting.” Elisa chided, waving a finger. “Mama needs our help this week, so remember that we only get a little bit of time to be outside.”

Janelle rested a hand on her shoulder and said in her sweet voice, “Don’t worry, Elisa. Mama said they could play outside for longer today.” Janelle took Evie out of Elisa’s arms. 

She was sixteen, the third oldest princess. Janelle was definitely the kindest, most beautiful girl Elisa had ever known.

That was saying something since her home was filled with sisters and servants. So naturally, Elisa had seen a good several girls.

“Right, Janelle. Well, anyway, I have to go. Call Amoga, will you? Tell her I left, and tell her to stop planning pranks with Zoya and poor Christanine. That shy little girl lets herself get bossed around so much.” Elisa sighed. Amoga, recently turned seventeen, was the second oldest and an energetic, hot-tempered prankster.

“Oh, sure! Now don’t let me hold you up. Mama needs you- it’s your big day in just one week after all!” Janelle chirped, gliding away daintily.

Like she needed any reminding. 

Nevertheless, Elisa turned and glumly strode through the gardens and into the palace. Immediately, she was met with a whirlwind of servants. 

Elisa just politely smiled and ignored them, continuing to walk towards her mother’s chambers. She knocked, waited for her reply, and walked in.

“Mama? You asked for me?” Elisa asked, sitting tenderly at the side of her mother’s bed. Mama was heavily pregnant with a baby due soon, so she didn’t leave her room much. Her mother looked beautiful even with her usually rich chocolate-colored skin that was now pale and wan and her eyes closed, lips leeched of color. Then her mother opened her eyes.

“Elisa, darling, how are you? I hope the stress of your Becoming is not worrying you too much.” Mama spoke, taking her daughter’s hand. The Becoming was a tradition with children of royal families. There would be a ball that signified their coming-of-age and several others to celebrate her transition from a teen to an adult. Elisa would be eighteen the next week, and the ball was so she could celebrate her adulthood. All the preparations were happening, and today was the opening of the ceremony which would be started with a ball.

Oh, and of course, it was so she could find a suitor.

“I’m fine, Mama. Really. But you, Mama- how are you?”

“Oh, sweetheart, it’s the same thing. Little Anastasia down here is so feisty, that girl is. She won’t give me a break!” Elisa could tell that her mother was trying to keep a smile for her daughters’ sake. But she wasn’t buying it.

“Mama, we miss you and your dances. You should hurry up and deliver Anastasia so we can have you all to ourselves.” Elisa teased, trying to keep the mood light.

But then Mama took her hand and told her, “Don’t try to avoid your issues, dear. Elisa, my love, you should know that I met your father at one of the Becoming balls for him. He was so charming, you know. Even though his parents pressured him to marry someone of higher status, he never listened to them. As you can see, we got married a few years later and now we’re happy as two doves!”

Elisa gave her a weak smile. “Yes, Mama. I know.” Then she stood up. “I’ll be going then. I don’t really trust Amoga to watch over the girls.” As she turned to go, her mother said:

“Remember, Elisa- you don’t need to do everything by yourself. You’ll always be able to ask me for help, my angel. I’ll always be there for you.”

And then she was asleep.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Amoga tightened her corsets as Elisa stood, back rigid and face stony, wishing that she didn’t have to welcome the would-be-suitors to their palace.

“There- you’re simply stunning!” Amoga praised, admiring her handy work. Elisa was dressed in a dark midnight blue dress with sleeves just past her elbow and sweeping hoop skirts that caressed the ground with every step. Her ink colored hair had been curled and knotted up, hair cascading down her brown shoulders. It was necessary, of course. The opening ball of the Becoming was today and it would be glamorous. It was only fit that Elisa should be dazzling as well.

“Wow, thank you,” Elisa said genuinely. She remembered to kiss each of the younger girls goodbye: Zoya, Christanine, Harmony, Stella, Luna, Milissa, Bonnie, and Evie. Then she hurried down to the grand dining room.

The king- her father- stood, speaking to a crowd of men, Elisa realized with a sinking sensation in her stomach. She was going to be harshly scolded for being late. Then Father looked to the side, seeing her, and narrowed his eyes at Elisa. To the crowd, he said “My daughter, Crown Princess Elisa Khlarise Murray!”

Elisa quickly stepped in, determined to not make a fool of herself. Unfortunately, just as she was marching up to the dais, she slid on her dress and nearly fell. Just in the nick of time, she managed to straighten her dress and walk slowly to the pedestal in embarrassment, cheeks flaming. The king’s eyes pierced her with a glare.

 “Ahem. Princess Elisa, please say a few words.”

Elisa cleared her throat. “Well. Thank you, everyone, for being here today. I am, of course, definitely looking forward to spending quality time with … all of you.” She looked around the room at all the men, some young and spry and many old and balding, trying not to frown. “Thank you for helping me go through this frightening part of a princess’s life, where she has to choose from so many chivalrous men to find her king. I hope that you know, uh, how much this means to me. Have a good evening,” Elisa finished.

The king smiled and said, “We wish that you come down this night to celebrate the opening night of Princess Elisa’s Becoming!”

Then, as the men dispersed, he lay a hand on Elisa’s shoulder and told her, “Elisa.  I would like you to go meet some of the suitors right now. What about… Lord Flynn, Lord Nash, or Duke Maccarty?”

Elisa had met all of them at least once. They were all above thirty-five, and Lord Nash was fifty. She couldn’t believe that Father wanted her to get to know them. That was code for something else.

“Of course I don’t want you to marry them, Elisa.” The King assured her. “But you should know that they’ll be powerful political allies when you’re the queen. Remember, the Becoming is also the time for you to learn your politics.”

Elisa suppressed a groan. Politics were the worst, even though someday politics would be her entire life. Just thinking about it made her want to vomit. “Of course.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

She trudged down several flights of stairs and slumped down on her bed in the room that all the princesses shared. They had been offered the choice of having separate rooms, but it made them feel safer to sleep together.

“Elisa, Elisa, Elisa!” The girls chimed. “How was it?”

“Did you see any handsome men?” Janelle asked shyly. Elisa heard Bonnie giggle behind her.

“Were they all ugly?” Amoga said, making a face. 

“No, I bet they were beautiful. Did you find your true love, Elisa?” Zoya teased, Christanine blushing behind her.

“No, Elisa will never leave us!” Little Evie pouted. Milissa patted her shoulder in a pitying way.

Stella and Luna whispered to each other behind Harmony.

Elisa fought to lose the color rising to her face. “No! Of course not, you nitwits!” She started to unclasp her jewelry and slumped down on the bed, letting Janelle unzip her dress. “I’m still not eighteen yet, girls. I don’t plan on being married any time now.” 

Zoya raised her eyebrow. “Is that right? Very well then. Then explain why exactly you went to see some men after the opening.”

“The King told me to. It’s for politics, obviously.” Elisa hastened to explain. “Well, you are just bothersome, Zoya. I’m going to bed now. Good night.”

All the girls laughed at Elisa, but she didn’t mind. She loved her sisters- and she didn’t belong out there, talking up men three times her age.

This was where she belonged. At home.


I hope you guys liked this! It’s actually an older piece that I edited a little bit for some grammar reasons- and it’s from last March! It was written right after I read a twelve-dancing-princesses retelling so it’s heavily based off of that myth, especially Entwined by Heather Dixon!

Can you tell if there’s any differences in my writing style from last year versus this year? Do you enjoy reading retellings? Have you read Entwined? Do you have a quarantine birthday?


24 thoughts on ““Twelve Princesses”: twelve dancing princesses fairytale retelling, fantasy // StayHomeWriMo Day 19


    and it’s fine, I just suggested it?? You absolutely don’t have to. (i use absolutely a lot cause I’m s e c r e t l y a s i t h just btw)

    I HOPE YOUR DAD HAD A GREAT BIRTHDAY! I really hope mine won’t fall during quarantine but who knows when it’ll end??! Mine is in three or so months I really hope quarantine is done by thennnnn.


    Liked by 2 people

    1. OMG I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!! Enchanted was pretty good as far as I remember!
      aww haha I do need more things to write for the next five days XD.
      YAY THANKS BECK! Aw I hope mine won’t either- it’s early June so there’s a good chance that it will :/

      Liked by 1 person

  2. ahh.. this was so wonderful to read, I loved it !! I also hope your dad had a nice birthday !!
    This was a great piece and I loved all the sisters together and poor Elisa, it would be horrible to have to talk about getting married so young and in those circumstances. I’d definitely want to stay home too!!
    I’m not too familiar with the fairytale to be honest but great retelling !! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for all your comments, Sophie! Aw ty!
      I know right- I would be so mad if someone forced me to get married at the age of eighteen smh. ❤ Haha you don't really need to get the fairytale to get the story thankfully! ❤ tyyy

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Incredible to read as usual Aditi! 💖 I am so sorry this comment is so late, I finished my Writing Challenge so I’m now trying to catch up on everyone’s posts and comments! I’ve never read any story like this before, but I really felt for Elisa, especially when her father wanted her to talk to fifty year old men! 😂 I love fairytale retelling, and this is definitely my favourite 😊 Also I hope I won’t have to have a quarantine birthday, mine is in July so fingers crossed 🤞

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sweetest comment ever as usual, Ambs! ❤ XD. Aw no problem- I commented on your last posts like three days late XD. I'm glad that you thought this was unique haha!! I know right that was so gross and even if she's not going to marry them- eww. 😉 Aw thank you so much!
      Fingers crossed for you Ambs!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aww 💗 Honestly just stating facts in my comments 🙂 Yay – aw it’s fine! All that matters to me is that you took the time to read it! 🙂 It definitely was!! Ah tell me about like couples who have like a 30-40 year age gap between them not to be discriminating or anything but *ew*, anytime!! 💖 Definitely, crossing them and typing as we speak 😂 I’m a multitasking pro!! XD

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Aww thanks! ❤ (YES I TOTALLY AGREE IT'S GROSS) (trump and his wife have a 23 year age gap it's SO GROSS) (trump is the age of my grandpa and his youngest son is literally a year older than me BLEH)

          Liked by 1 person

          1. No worries! YES IT IS!! Uh I know anymore than 10 years age gap and I get queasy 😂 Like doesn’t Trump realise she’s just a gold digger?! Who else would get with an opinionated old man?! Oh gawd Adi that is gross to think about Trump being the same age as your grandpa being with someone his son’s age!!

            Liked by 1 person

    2. Sweetest comment ever as usual, Ambs! ❤ XD. Aw no problem- I commented on your last posts like three days late XD. I'm glad that you thought this was unique haha!! I know right that was so gross and even if she's not going to marry them- eww. 😉 Aw thank you so much!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think it’s so brave to share something that you’ve written!! This was fantastic though and I loved reading it. Poor Elisa. I loved the last line and how you managed to make each of them feel different from each other. I look forward to reading more of your writing whilst I catch up on your posts 😊 and I love retellings. I haven’t read any of this story yet though. The Heather Dixon one that you mentioned is on my TBR though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Charlotte! For some reason you’re commenting on all of my trash stories XD I swear my writing in the other ones are ACTUALLY good 😉
      I actually wrote this last year ish? So I went through it and posted it 🙂 That’s cool- I remember sort of liking it but I can’t really remember lol. Thanks for commenting Charlotte!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aww don’t be silly they’re not trash!! I’ll have to read some of the ones that you’re happier with too though. I remember that there was a Greek Goddess one which I plan to check out next hopefully that’s one of the ones your happier with?
        Thats cool (: I think it’s easier to edit something that you’ve written after a while. If you read it straight after writing it I think you sort of automatically read it as it’s meant to be and miss mistakes? That’s what I used to find back when I did write a bit anyway 😅

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thank you haha 😄💞 yes there was, I liked that one more lol. Thank you for the comments though, they really mean a lot!!
          Yeah, is it something psychological?! I suck at editing essays lol which means I always turn in first drafts 😅

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Yay that’s good to hear & I loved it 😍
            It’s ok 🙂
            Yeah probably. Aww I honestly can’t really remember if I edited essays much or not 🤔 I just remember having to turn one in with pink ink at one point because the printer was out of black and that’s literally the only colour that would work without being streaky 🙈

            Liked by 1 person

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